Hello, and thank you for clicking the clickbait title (sorry). If you are allergic or immune to sarcasm, do not read this blog post.
It wasn’t really hard to come up with a few good reasons for people to hate Iceland. It’s not all Björk, waterfalls, and Northern Lights here, you know? Iceland has its bad sides as well.
1. Everyone in Iceland is so nice, ugh!
The first one is the most annoying one of them all. You’re casually strolling down the Laugavegur shopping street and trying to mind your own business but everyone keeps asking you: “How do you like Iceland?” with a hopeful smile on their face. Then, you ask for directions and the person you ask offers to give you a ride. Awkward! Even the horses are nice, we’re so over it.
2. The glaciers are too blue
Talk about being pretentious. The Icebergs in Iceland can’t even just be regular white ice blocks. They feel they need to stand out and impress everyone with their “magical” blue color. You know the type. If they could just stay white and uninteresting like the other icebergs, Iceland would be a better place.
3. There aren't any skyscrapers to speak of
Yeah, this one really bugs us. The houses are so small you can actually see the sky. In Reykjavík you can’t even escape looking at Mount Esja all the time. All the houses are so cutesy and colorful and there aren’t many massive glass and steel buildings, so we fear that visitors might not feel at home.
4. The water is too clean
Don’t get us started on this one. Clean water might sound great, but just think about it: People are used to buying bottled water that tastes like plastic and chlorine, but it’s not necessary when in Iceland. Therefore, visitors might get dehydrated and forget to fill their bottles with delicious tap water. We don’t know, this sounds kinda dangerous.
5. The stunning landscapes will haunt you for the rest of your life
Have you ever had a nightmare where you’re stuck walking around in a crazy lunar-like landscape and then abducted by aliens? Well then, Iceland will give you PTSD for sure. Everywhere you go you´ll be stuck in awe-inspiring landscapes. There’s no escaping them. Looking out the bathroom window: a beautiful landscape. Driving to the dentist: a beautiful landscape. Visiting grandma out of town: a beautiful landscape. You catch our drift.
6. The air is too pure
How awful. We know that fresh air sounds healthy but we have a theory: Maybe your lungs are used to a little pollution. Who knows what might happen when you breathe in all that fresh, cool air in Iceland? Will you develop a cough, get some sort of oxygen poisoning? We haven’t developed the theory deeply enough yet, but feel that this is something for scientists to explore. Somebody must have written a book about the issue.
7. It's full of lava
How can this be good?? We’re talking about LAVA, people! Look at any picture of lava in Iceland. We mean really look at it. We’re talking very sharp lava rocks here. Don’t let the soft and cozy moss fool you. The lava fields have endless deep cracks and crevasses you can easily fall into. Also, if you’re one of those people who don’t wear shoes, you will get hurt. Tread carefully.
P.S We can’t do this anymore. It’s all lies and we’re crying a little bit. Iceland is the best, really! Totally magnificent, safe, clean, and lovely! Come visit!